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NOW WITH A NEW CHAPTER AND AN UPDATED RESOURCES SECTION Suicide has touched the lives of nearly half of all Americans, yet it is rarely talked about openly. In her highly acclaimed book, Susan Blauner—a survivor of multiple suicide attempts—offers guidance and hope for those contemplating ending their lives and for their loved ones. “Each word written with thoughtful intent; each story told with the deepest of honesty and humility, and in doing so Blauner puts forward a life-saving book."—Daniel J. Reidenberg, PsyD, Executive Director, Suicide Awareness Voices of Education (www.save.org) “I continued to romanticize my death by suicide: who would find me; what I’d look like. I spent hundreds of hours planning my funeral, imagining the remorse of my family and friends. I wrote good-bye letters, composed wills, and disrupted the lives of everyone close to me. Then reality hit.”—Susan Rose Blauner The statistics on suicide are staggering. The World Health Organization estimates that nearly 800,000 people die by suicide every year, which is one person every 40 seconds, and for each completed suicide there may be twenty or more attempts. In How I Stayed Alive When My Brain Was Trying to Kill Me, Susan Blauner is the perfect emissary for a message of hope and a program of action for these millions of people. A survivor of multiple suicide attempts, she explains the complex feelings and fantasies that surround suicidal thoughts. In a direct, nonjudgmental, and loving voice, she offers affirmations and suggestions for those experiencing life-ending thoughts, and for their friends and family. With an introduction by Bernie Siegel, M.D., this important, timely book has now been updated with a revised resources section, and a new chapter on the author’s experiences since the book’s initial publication. CONTENTS Cover Image......Page 1 Title Page......Page 3 Dedication Page......Page 4 Epigraph Page......Page 6 Contents......Page 7 Welcome......Page 12 Foreword......Page 13 Editor’s Note: Why This Book Matters to Me......Page 17 Part One: So You Think You Want To Die?......Page 21 Hello......Page 23 The Reality of Suicidal Fantasy......Page 27 Moderation and Time Limits......Page 30 Me......Page 31 Finding Life Essence......Page 42 Change (Arghhh) and Choices......Page 45 Part Two: Outthinking Suicide......Page 47 Breathing......Page 49 The Language of Suicide......Page 52 The Neuron Superhighway......Page 57 The Grim Reaper......Page 62 Brain Style......Page 65 Recognizing and Avoiding Triggers......Page 68 Stopping the Snowball......Page 72 Finding Relief......Page 74 Part Three: Tricks of the Trade......Page 77 Trick #1 Asking for Help......Page 79 Trick #2 Emergency Contacts......Page 84 Trick #3 A Crisis Plan......Page 89 Trick #4 Feelings......Page 102 Identifying Feelings......Page 103 Feelings Chart......Page 104 Feelings Galore List......Page 106 Tracing Feelings Back......Page 109 Stating a Feeling......Page 113 Trick #5 Feelings Versus Facts......Page 114 Trick #6 The Brady Bunch Syndrome......Page 117 Spirituality......Page 119 Nature......Page 127 Meditation......Page 133 Trick #8: Acting As If......Page 138 Trick #9 Halt......Page 139 Hungry......Page 140 Angry......Page 146 Lonely......Page 149 Tired......Page 153 Trick #10 Keeping a Journal......Page 157 Trick #11 Tasks and Activities—Healthy Diversions......Page 161 Trick #12 The Telephone Lifeline and Phone Lists......Page 163 Trick #13 Contracts for Safety......Page 165 Trick #14 Brain Food......Page 169 Trick #15 Therapy......Page 173 Trick #16 Vitamin “P”......Page 181 Trick #17 “Oh, What a Beautiful Morning”—Sayings and Affirmations......Page 185 Trick #18 Mirror Work and Inner Dialoguing......Page 191 Trick #19 Service—Helping Others......Page 195 Trick #20 Movement and Exercise......Page 199 Sound......Page 204 Color......Page 208 Trick #22 Support Groups......Page 209 Trick #23 Structure......Page 211 Trick #24 Hospitalization......Page 213 Trick #25 What About an Afterlife?......Page 217 Part Four: There is Hope! Letters from My Therapist, Family, and Friends......Page 221 Honesty......Page 223 Sylvia’s Perspective......Page 224 A Brother’s Walk on Eggshells......Page 227 Watching Her Husband, My Brother......Page 228 Like a Holiday from Adulthood......Page 229 God Doesn’t Make Junk!......Page 231 Sue’s Song......Page 233 Rich with Humanity, Hope, and Change......Page 234 Part Five: Helping the Suicidal Thinker......Page 237 Introduction......Page 239 Risk Factors and Warning Signs......Page 245 Suicide Facts and Statistics......Page 251 Words: What I Heard Versus What I Needed to Hear......Page 253 Delivery and Timing......Page 258 Expressing Your Feelings......Page 261 Acknowledging Their Pain......Page 263 Speaking from Love......Page 264 Beliefs: Secrets Are Deadly......Page 266 It’s Okay to Talk About It......Page 269 It’s a Family Challenge......Page 272 Change Is Possible......Page 273 Actions: Listening Well......Page 275 Respecting Boundaries While Taking Action......Page 278 Practicing Patience and Compassion......Page 281 Getting Educated and Finding Your Own Support......Page 282 Part Six: Until We Meet Again......Page 285 geese (a poem written by Christopher Brehl)......Page 287 I Recognize.........Page 288 Destiny......Page 290 Part Seven: Hotlines, Websites, and Other Resources......Page 291 Crisis Hotlines......Page 293 Hotlines in Canada......Page 295 Organizations......Page 296 Organizations in Canada......Page 312 Twelve Step Organizations......Page 313 Book Lists......Page 314 Books Useful to Me......Page 315 General Works......Page 316 On Youth......Page 317 For Professionals......Page 318 For Survivors......Page 320 Notes......Page 321 Index......Page 325 About the Author......Page 344 Credits......Page 345 Copyright Notice......Page 346

NOW WITH A NEW CHAPTER AND AN UPDATED RESOURCES SECTION Suicide has touched the lives of nearly half of all Americans, yet it is rarely talked about openly. In her highly acclaimed book, Susan Blauner—a survivor of multiple suicide attempts—offers guidance and hope for those contemplating ending their lives and for their loved ones. “Each word written with thoughtful intent; each story told with the deepest of honesty and humility, and in doing so Blauner puts forward a life-saving book."—Daniel J. Reidenberg, PsyD, Executive Director, Suicide Awareness Voices of Education (www.save.org) “I continued to romanticize my death by suicide: who would find me; what I’d look like. I spent hundreds of hours planning my funeral, imagining the remorse of my family and friends. I wrote good-bye letters, composed wills, and disrupted the lives of everyone close to me. Then reality hit.”—Susan Rose Blauner The statistics on suicide are staggering. The World Health Organization estimates that nearly 800,000 people die by suicide every year, which is one person every 40 seconds, and for each completed suicide there may be twenty or more attempts. In How I Stayed Alive When My Brain Was Trying to Kill Me, Susan Blauner is the perfect emissary for a message of hope and a program of action for these millions of people. A survivor of multiple suicide attempts, she explains the complex feelings and fantasies that surround suicidal thoughts. In a direct, nonjudgmental, and loving voice, she offers affirmations and suggestions for those experiencing life-ending thoughts, and for their friends and family. With an introduction by Bernie Siegel, M.D., this important, timely book has now been updated with a revised resources section, and a new chapter on the author’s experiences since the book’s initial publication. CONTENTS Cover Image......Page 1 Title Page......Page 3 Dedication Page......Page 4 Epigraph Page......Page 6 Contents......Page 7 Welcome......Page 12 Foreword......Page 13 Editor’s Note: Why This Book Matters to Me......Page 17 Part One: So You Think You Want To Die?......Page 21 Hello......Page 23 The Reality of Suicidal Fantasy......Page 27 Moderation and Time Limits......Page 30 Me......Page 31 Finding Life Essence......Page 42 Change (Arghhh) and Choices......Page 45 Part Two: Outthinking Suicide......Page 47 Breathing......Page 49 The Language of Suicide......Page 52 The Neuron Superhighway......Page 57 The Grim Reaper......Page 62 Brain Style......Page 65 Recognizing and Avoiding Triggers......Page 68 Stopping the Snowball......Page 72 Finding Relief......Page 74 Part Three: Tricks of the Trade......Page 77 Trick #1 Asking for Help......Page 79 Trick #2 Emergency Contacts......Page 84 Trick #3 A Crisis Plan......Page 89 Trick #4 Feelings......Page 102 Identifying Feelings......Page 103 Feelings Chart......Page 104 Feelings Galore List......Page 106 Tracing Feelings Back......Page 109 Stating a Feeling......Page 113 Trick #5 Feelings Versus Facts......Page 114 Trick #6 The Brady Bunch Syndrome......Page 117 Spirituality......Page 119 Nature......Page 127 Meditation......Page 133 Trick #8: Acting As If......Page 138 Trick #9 Halt......Page 139 Hungry......Page 140 Angry......Page 146 Lonely......Page 149 Tired......Page 153 Trick #10 Keeping a Journal......Page 157 Trick #11 Tasks and Activities—Healthy Diversions......Page 161 Trick #12 The Telephone Lifeline and Phone Lists......Page 163 Trick #13 Contracts for Safety......Page 165 Trick #14 Brain Food......Page 169 Trick #15 Therapy......Page 173 Trick #16 Vitamin “P”......Page 181 Trick #17 “Oh, What a Beautiful Morning”—Sayings and Affirmations......Page 185 Trick #18 Mirror Work and Inner Dialoguing......Page 191 Trick #19 Service—Helping Others......Page 195 Trick #20 Movement and Exercise......Page 199 Sound......Page 204 Color......Page 208 Trick #22 Support Groups......Page 209 Trick #23 Structure......Page 211 Trick #24 Hospitalization......Page 213 Trick #25 What About an Afterlife?......Page 217 Part Four: There is Hope! Letters from My Therapist, Family, and Friends......Page 221 Honesty......Page 223 Sylvia’s Perspective......Page 224 A Brother’s Walk on Eggshells......Page 227 Watching Her Husband, My Brother......Page 228 Like a Holiday from Adulthood......Page 229 God Doesn’t Make Junk!......Page 231 Sue’s Song......Page 233 Rich with Humanity, Hope, and Change......Page 234 Part Five: Helping the Suicidal Thinker......Page 237 Introduction......Page 239 Risk Factors and Warning Signs......Page 245 Suicide Facts and Statistics......Page 251 Words: What I Heard Versus What I Needed to Hear......Page 253 Delivery and Timing......Page 258 Expressing Your Feelings......Page 261 Acknowledging Their Pain......Page 263 Speaking from Love......Page 264 Beliefs: Secrets Are Deadly......Page 266 It’s Okay to Talk About It......Page 269 It’s a Family Challenge......Page 272 Change Is Possible......Page 273 Actions: Listening Well......Page 275 Respecting Boundaries While Taking Action......Page 278 Practicing Patience and Compassion......Page 281 Getting Educated and Finding Your Own Support......Page 282 Part Six: Until We Meet Again......Page 285 geese (a poem written by Christopher Brehl)......Page 287 I Recognize.........Page 288 Destiny......Page 290 Part Seven: Hotlines, Websites, and Other Resources......Page 291 Crisis Hotlines......Page 293 Hotlines in Canada......Page 295 Organizations......Page 296 Organizations in Canada......Page 312 Twelve Step Organizations......Page 313 Book Lists......Page 314 Books Useful to Me......Page 315 General Works......Page 316 On Youth......Page 317 For Professionals......Page 318 For Survivors......Page 320 Notes......Page 321 Index......Page 325 About the Author......Page 344 Credits......Page 345 Copyright Notice......Page 346